My Imaginary Ex
by Pathetic Rainbow
Summary: Here's what happens when you play pretend.
1. Meetings

**My Imaginary Ex**  
_Here's what happens when you play pretend._

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Chapter 1: _Meetings_

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_Mikan's POV_

I had three groups to sort my phone contacts: Family, Work and College.

When someone from the Family group would randomly greet me, at least I wouldn't have wondered why since it would be somewhat natural when I had such a paranoid family who so often called for unnecessary reunions.

When someone from the Work group would randomly greet me, my first guess would be he or she would want to be covered for or would be scolding me and telling me to get my sorry ass to the office.

When someone from the College group would randomly greet me, I'd be really surprised.

So when Sumire Shouda suddenly texted me for an urgent meeting at a café I've almost never heard of (probably due to my almost unsocial lifestyle), I was definitely flabbergasted to a point that I had to reread the message thrice just so to confirm I wasn't delusional in any way when it simply said: _Mikan! Be at Aria Café around 6 tonight, k? Be there or else I'll personally hunt you down. Even if you have other plans, just please stop by. Love you lots!_ _–ss_

It was nearly six o'clock in the afternoon, almost ten hours after I received the message. At first I was quite reluctant about it. After all, five years after college was enough for someone to suddenly turn into a madwoman, right? But I've heard about Sumire often over the radio, so I was pretty much convinced that there was no way someone as nice sounding as her could end up insane.

I held my phone at eyesight level and read the name of the café she told me to go to. _Aria café_? I'm sure I've seen it one way or another in this mall. After walking for a while, I finally faced a small yet cozy looking shop that had a small whiteboard that had their menu written down in front, a certain name decorated cutely and musically on top of it.

I saw her waiting on a comfortable lounge chair, her legs comfortably crossed albeit the stilettos on her feet. She was wearing a dark green halter dress that matched her sparkly heels. She was sipping from a tall cup that wasn't steaming, so I assumed she was drinking an iced frappe of some sort.

I gulped inside and then looked at _my _attire: A blue blouse and faded jeans. My hair was down in a messy way, too. Compared to her, it seemed like I was ruining some sort of party. I walked shyly to her and tapped her shoulder—to which she replied by raising her hand up (showing her perfectly manicured nails) and saying, "I'm sorry, but I'm waiting for some—" she paused and looked at me, surprised. "—you! There you are! I thought you wouldn't come, especially since it was such a short notice!"

Looking at her again, I wondered how in the world we became _friends_. She was in my college list, so she definitely had gone to the same college as me… Then it hit me as my eyes rolled in thought. _Oh yeah, she was the ex of Natsume._ I began to panic as my stomach began doing flips. You see, Sumire Shouda was a recipient of one of the longest-running lies I had told. _Almost ten years_, I was shocked a bit at how long it has been, _and I can't get my stories straight anymore_.

I laughed nervously as she hugged me (more like jumped on me) and towered over me by a few good inches. "I was kind of wondering why you invited me, Sumire. We haven't talked since graduation." I said as she pulled away. "Which was five years ago."

_In my first year of college, I told her, Sumire Shouda, that Natsume Hyuuga, the incredibly hot guy who asked her to the Freshmen Night party, was my high school boyfriend. It wasn't true, I knew, but I never really came clean with it. _

Ignoring me, she pulled me over to a couch and asked, "Do you want anything? Totally my treat, Mikan."

_Maybe it's time to admit it to her? After all, they'd been broken up for years_. _And besides, I couldn't remember any of the details I've thrown into that story. So, I might as well..._

"Err," I fumbled to say. "I'll just have a latte."

"Sure."

She returned with a really tall steaming cup (probably the second size larger to what I was used to) and a small tray of muffins. She smiled happily at me; I gulped again. It was as if she was expecting this meeting to be a long one, I can tell.

She sat back down and began speaking. "I'm sorry if I'm dressed like this. I hosted a party a while ago so I had to dress formal and all. But enough about me! You look great, Mikan!" She began to gush, reaching out for my brown tresses as if a stylist. "And I'm glad you took down those ridiculous pigtails of yours, too."

"Thanks, Sumire," I replied, taking off her hand calmly and fluffed my hair back. "It's like you haven't changed at all."

She seemed to take it as a compliment. (It was, really.)

"So…how are you? I heard that you had an exhibit last month. But I wasn't able to go 'cause I had to work out of town to meet with some partners." She frowned lightly, pursing her lips. "Your job, in comparison to my stressful media work, seems so relaxing! The only thing I ever do other than talk and interview is yoga."

"Well, I guess being a freelance photographer does have its perks," I replied easily since it _was_ the truth. "But it gets a bit lonely when it's just the camera and me…"

The conversation went on for a few minutes where she did most of the talking. I asked follow-up questions mostly and she'd gladly explain. _No wonder she's a VJ, she just kept on and on!_ But at the same time I was glad since I wouldn't have been pressurized into spilling out things I shouldn't.

She paused and then looked at her watch with a frustrated look. "Ugh. _Didn't_ I say six o'clock?"

I stared at her silently as she typed quite noisily (probably because she wasn't so patient anymore) into her phone. When she was done, she put it back in her bag and looked back at me. "Would you like a muffin, Mikan?"

"N-No thank you, Sumire," I tried to say sincerely. "But I'd really just get the topic over with. I'm sure you didn't ask me to go here just randomly."

Sumire sighed. "You've really changed, Mikan. From this bubbly girl I met in college, you became so refined. But," she placed a thoughtful finger on her chin. "You weren't really that talkative either. I'm guessing you must have been noisy when you were in elementary."

"Sumire," I warned. "I still have things to finish for work. And I'm guessing that you do, too. So just, please, tell me why." I told her straightforwardly, taking another sip from my latte.

"Fine," she huffed. "Let's start. Okay, Mikan, do you have a boyfriend?"

"What?" I asked incredulously. "You're not going to set me up with anyone, are you?"

"No, no!" She denied, waving her hands in front of her. "Or maybe. It's good that you don't. Have you talked with Natsume lately, Mikan?"

_Uh-oh._ "No," I told her; that was, well, pretty much the truth. "The last time we talked…well, I think it's been months."

She gasped lightly, covering her mouth with her long and slender fingers. "You got an invitation to his wedding, didn't you?"

I nodded. I certainly did _not_ like where this was going… "Did you?"

"We didn't really stay friends after college," she said sadly, but quickly shrugged it off. "Do you know anything about his fiancée?"

"Um," I started, trying to remember. "I've met her once, at Ruka's birthday party, but I really don't know her."

Sumire sighed again. "This is going to be harder than we thought then. Mikan, we need you to stage some intervention for our lost Natsume."

"We? Who's the other party?" I asked, shocked. When I finally realized the rest of what she said, I asked again, "Wait—what?"

"_She_'ll be arriving later," Sumire replied calmly, then replacing her cool look with an expression of worry. "But we want you to break his engagement, call off the wedding, anything! Just, please, keep him from marrying Luna Koizumi."

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I'll be juggling my time writing a lot this summer. I loved the book so much that I decided to write a GA version of it. Hrhr. And if you have some time, which I'm sure you have since you're on FF, read my other fic. :D

**Disclaimer**: Okay, let me end by saying that this idea is not mine. This fan fiction is based on a real book, My Imaginary Ex. I found the plot very intriguing and so I thought that the idea might fit something for GA—which I also do not own. So, I hope no lawsuits will be filed or whatever because of this. Err.

**Review, please? :)**

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	2. Favors

**My Imaginary Ex**  
_Here's what happens when you play pretend._

Chapter 2: _Favors_

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_College, nine years ago_

After I graduated from Alice Academy and transferred to my current university, I felt alone. Sure, there were familiar faces of upperclassmen that chose to stay in Japan instead of pursuing the prestige that came with the title of an Alice graduate, but they weren't really my friends. And I didn't have that much friends to begin with. I only had Hotaru, Anna, Nonoko and Yuu, my friends since elementary.

Natsume was one of those familiar faces, even though he was in my batch. I learned to shut up when I entered high school, so I didn't get to socialize that much except in class. He was only my classmate in homeroom and biology during second year, but I heard things about him so often because of his popularity. He, admittedly, had looks which girls could easily swoon over. But when I saw him in line at the cafeteria, I noticed that he hid his crimson eyes behind thick-framed glasses and styled his hair back. He looked…_geeky_.

"You look familiar," I accidentally blurted out, catching his attention. "Have we met before?"

"I'm from Alice, too." He said calmly after looking at me weirdly, grabbing a slice of cake. "Guess who."

"Natsume Hyuuga!" I said out loudly after inspecting him some more.

"Yes," he replied, cringing. "Not so loud. I'm trying to hide."

I nodded, taking my tray off the metal railings. I inspected the food and then looked up at the lunch lady, thanking her. I walked slowly to look for an available table. Finding one (not really minding the sticky thing that seemed to spill on one part of it) was a relief, since I didn't want to feel awkward having to ask some random stranger to share his table with me.

As I seated down, I saw Natsume take the seat in front of me without asking for me. _How rude_, I thought but quickly disregarded it. I hesitated to speak, my newly developed instinct to shun people from high school was kicking in. It was hard to not have my old friends around to accompany me, but I consoled myself with the thought of starting anew. And this could not happen if Natsume was around, now could it?

However? Natsume _was_ definitely an eye catcher. And I'm sure he doesn't know me (much) since we were classmates only in junior year. At least I'd have someone, wouldn't I? Better him (though he was an awful lab partner) than anyone, right?

"Um," I started almost stuttering. "I'm sorry if I seem to be rude, b-but why are you here, Natsume?"

"Ouch, Sakura. I thought we were kind of acquaintances since we're both from Alice. But I'd leave if you asked me, too." He put down his utensils as an empty threat—I knew it was a joke, though. He frowned and stood up, looking quite serious. I grabbed his arm across the table with a pleading look (as he described later on in the conversation) and said, "N-No! Please don't leave, Natsume! The loneliness scares me."

He grinned and sat back down while I gulped in realization of what I had just done. I guess that's how we became friends.

Natsume was in a business administration course while I was under the fine arts program, so our worlds _typically_ just didn't clash. Other than the same break periods, I mean. We really didn't hang out with each other. He'd drop by at the Sakura tree, where I usually stayed when I wanted to read a book, eat a snack or just rest, and asked if I was in the mood for a coffee or something, but we wouldn't hang out.

"He's cute," my friends would often whisper to me, giggling, when he'd pass by. "You sure you don't want to introduce me to him?" To which I always replied with a quick roll of my eyes and a huff.

One thing we had in common, I noticed after one coffee session at a nearby café, was that we both didn't like being in a really big group. We only had our group of close friends which we'd spend most of our time with, but that was mostly it. Nothing was tied down or really tight-knit. He was popular, so naturally I would wonder _why on earth he does that_.

And so, I asked him.

He looked at me as if I were _crazy_. "I have _intimacy issues_." I wasn't sure if he was serious or not with that reply, but I knew he was mocking me since I pointed that out to him before. "Just kidding, I just don't want a single person to know everything about me."

"Exactly, you have intimacy issues!"

In any case, those intimacy issues of his were put to the test when he met Sumire Shouda in some math class during the second semester. I really didn't know anything since I didn't see him if he didn't seek me out. But apparently, they started having lunch together.

The first time I met Sumire was when I was washing my hands in the comfort room while she was reapplying makeup. She was vain, I could tell, as I looked at her reflection. She twisted her head and looked at me with a queer expression, which was only replaced by something like nostalgia. "Are you Mikan Sakura?" she asked me.

She smiled warmly at me as I blinked my eyes in confusion at her. She was wearing a sleeved sundress that reached up to her knees and matching flats. She was pretty, yes, but her permed hair drew too much attention.

"Y-Yes," I was able to mutter, containing much of my surprise at her knowing me. "I'm sorry, are we classmates?"

"No, no. I'm sorry," she laughed and returned her lip gloss to its tube. "I'm Sumire. And I'm… well, I'm not sure if this is proper and all, but since I'm here, I'm going to ask anyway. Natsume Hyuuga asked me to Freshman Night next week. Are you okay with that?"

"Err," I started, trying to think of a response to that. I was really confused—why was she asking me permission? "Of course I'm okay with it, Sumire."

She drew out a breath of relief and hugged me. It was of course, awkward, but it seemed only fitting with her really friendly nature. "Thanks! I see you two sometimes hang out and I just wanted to check if you were fine with it. He didn't tell you that he asked me, did he?"

I still wasn't sure what she was talking about, and by now I was very aware that the other girls in the room were listening intently at our conversation. After all, it _was_ related with _the _Natsume Hyuuga. Sumire turned and glared at them, raising a cocky brow. "What are you looking at?"

_Note to self, never get on Sumire's bad side._ "No, he didn't. And he doesn't have to tell me if he asks people out. It's not like I'm his mother or something, Sumire."

She giggled. "Thanks, Mikan! We should totally get together sometimes." With that she skipped out of the restroom, and I was left blushing when the other girls gathered around me and started to ask more about Natsume.

That same awkward day, Natsume left a note at _my_ tree and on my locker. After I exited the room where my first class was held, I found him sitting at a near bench. He walked towards me, but I went first. "Um, I met Sumire today. Why was she asking me permission to go out with you?"

Natsume sighed and ran his hand through his hair as if in a stressed motion. "Mikan, I'm going to ask you a favor. She thinks you're my ex anyway."

_Say…what?_

"You know how I've had no girlfriend before, don't you?" he asked.

"Well, I did hear you had a reputation of rejecting all the girls who would drop down on their knees as if they had no dignity for you. But, really? When we were in second year, I heard you were three-timing a few girls and in third year, I heard you were going out with a certain Miyaka—"

"She was the president of my fan club, not my girlfriend," he quickly interrupted. "But anyway, can you just pretend to be my ex?"

_How straightforward_, I commented inwardly._ That has probably the lamest favor anyone has asked me._ "She's probably a believer of the first girlfriend theory, isn't she?"

"What's that?"

"It's the theory that the guy screws up with their first girlfriend and makes up for it with their second. It's apparently not fair for the first. I'm sure she's experienced that at least once," I stopped, recalling how pretty and nice she was. "Or more likely four times."

Natsume ignored my little comment. "Tch. Whatever." He walked away with his hands pocketed in his jeans. The nerve of that bastard! Asking me to help him pretend and then walk away? I didn't even say yes yet and he leaves me hanging like that!

"You're welcome, you jerk!"

In the weeks that followed, Sumire and I struck up an uneasy friendship. I liked her, but there was something that kept me from becoming friends with her. She would always smile and greet me in the halls or ask me to a snack when she was heading to the cafeteria. I was sure it wasn't because she actually _wanted_ to be with me—she probably wanted to keep the _'enemy'_ close.

It was fine, really, since it allowed me to do Natsume's favor. I didn't tell her details immediately. No, that would make me look like I wasn't over my imaginary ex. She was the one who usually asked question anyway, so it wasn't much of a problem for me to make impromptu details.

"So you mean Natsume was absent for a whole week because of diarrhea?"

And I could use this to my advantage, couldn't I? He asked me if I could pretend for him, but he didn't leave any specifications anyway. And besides, that arrogant jerk deserves it.

"Earth to Mikan, you're not saying anything," I woke up from my little trance with Sumire's fingers snapping in front of my eyes. "I'll repeat my question since apparently, you weren't paying attention. Was he your first boyfriend?"

_So she _does_ believe in the first girlfriend theory!_ But by now, I can't recall what stories I've made up about his girlfriends… _did he have just me or more?_ I shook away the thoughts and started to dive into another lie. "Yeah, he was my first love and all. It's corny."

"Of course not! High school love is so cute," she defended quickly. "Wait, did you meet before high school?"

"Uh," I tried to think clearly, but when millions of possible stories were surging in your mind, it was kind of impossible to pick. "I think I saw him in the elementary division of Alice Academy a few times, but I never really noticed him. He told me that he once gave me chocolates on White Day and then he said I threw it in my locker and pretended I never got it. But then in second year, when we were classmates in a few classes, I guess that's when I suddenly noticed him."

"Wow! So he pursued his childhood crush, how sweet of him," Sumire started to gush, but with a slightly jealous tone. _Okay, time to tone down the whole puppy love thing, Mikan,_ I told myself. "Oh, but why did you two break up?" she asked a follow up question to that.

"Did he say anything about it?"

"No…" she started, trying to recall. "I've never really talked to him about something _this_ personal."

_Good!_ "Well, I went to prom with someone else."

"What!" Sumire reacted, slamming her palms on the table. "When you two were still together?"

_Great, I've made myself sound like a villain._ "Not really. We were sort of drifting apart and if ever he didn't want to be with me anymore, I told him to start now instead of at the end of high school. I went with one of our classmates while he didn't go with a date. He went with his friends."

I applauded myself for coming up with a plausible story. After all, that story was true…except for the fact that we broke up because _we were never together_. But the important thing was that the story clinched in for Sumire.

"But it seems that you two are okay now since you still see each other often," she told me.

"We're okay with it. Mostly because he didn't act like a total jerk about it. At graduation, I found out that we'd be going to the same college, so he said he hoped that it wouldn't be uncomfortable or anything. He…_hugged_ me and left," I tried to think of some more details that I could add into the story, but nothing was clicking. "He can be really mean and obnoxious, but really, he's a good guy."

The next time I saw Natsume, I warned him about the things I told Sumire. It was fine for both of us as long as he didn't contradict it. He appeared to be listening to what I said, but I didn't think he was really paying attention. He just nodded and went off.

Two weeks after that, I found out Natsume and Sumire were together.

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It's so much more easier to write things like this since you have everything figured out. I am momentarily amused by this. I'm posting a oneshot in the week that's NatsumeHotaru. Erp.

_Standard disclaimer applied._

**Review, please? :)**

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	3. Theories

**My Imaginary Ex**  
_Here's what happens when you play pretend._

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Chapter 3: _Theories_

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_Coffee shop, present day_

"You have _got_ to be shitting me." I stood up noisily from the couch, garnering attention from other people who were in the café. "I am most definitely _not _involving myself in this plan—especially since it involves that Hyuuga!"

"Wait, Mikan!" I felt a tug on my right arm. It was Sumire, looking a bit desperate and troubled. "Please, just listen for a while, will you? Stay," she ordered as if I were some dog, pulling me back to the area we were at.

I sighed; Sumire gave a determined look. "Do you even know anything about Natsume and Luna?"

I gave her a skeptical look, breathed and then gently, but surely, shook my head. Our friendship had stopped becoming a daily thing after college, especially when I got a boyfriend. Sure, we stayed in touch, but maybe we just weren't as close as we thought. Or what other people like Sumire thought, even. I only found out about Luna after they had gotten together.

So basically, from a college partner-in-crime, I became a sometime friend. He was there for me when I broke up with my boyfriend, but we really didn't hang out regularly. Such was our friendship. It never really lived up to its drama potential because we never really confronted each other about things.

"Luna is _absolutely_ wrong for him," Sumire declared, as if she was proud of the fact, sipping from her drink. "And he's miserable. He's just too stubborn to admit it. You know how Natsume is, Mikan."

"Oh, and how do you know this?" I demanded. _Really_, she's been out of his life longer than me and now she tells me that she knows things about Natsume that I possibly didn't? _Sumire!_ Of all people.

She put her head back, most likely in shock with the way I said what I said. "Well, I really don't have first-hand knowledge. But I have really great sources because of my work."

"I'm still wondering why you didn't know about this, Mikan," she huffed lightly and went on. "A lot of our college friends saw him recently and was able to chat with him a bit. Err, didn't he give the wedding invite to you personally like everyone else?" she asked.

I noticed that Sumire was essentially the same since college. And that suddenly, it felt like we were in the awkward comfort room where we met, again.

"I found the invitation in my mail," I told her honestly. "I don't know what happened. Maybe some kind of falling out? I really don't know. I don't think I care either."

"That simply won't do." Sumire shook her head with a thinking expression, leaning back against her chair. "You won't be able to cancel his wedding if you both aren't on speaking terms—"

I cut her off. "Well technically, Natsume's the one who doesn't want to speak to me if that's the case. I'm okay with talking to him if he would call for me—"

But she cut me, too. "But you didn't even bother to talk to him, now did you?" she asked rhetorically, raising another questioning brow at me.

I let out a loud breath of disbelief. "Why should I even do this, Sumire? It's his choice if he wants to suffer, now isn't it? People marry people who are wrong for them _all the time_!"

Yes, that was bitterness. When you find out that you were the only guest who wasn't personally invited from the groom-to-be who you thought was one of your closest friends after all that you've gone through, was there any reason why you wouldn't be pissed? Especially when that groom-to-be happened to be Natsume Hyuuga, the biggest ass there ever was on this planet?

"You know you don't mean that. This is _Natsume_ we're talking about. Can you just set aside whatever issues you have and think about what could be the best for him? I've been told that Luna is a manipulative, lying, cheating bitch, and that she always has been."

I sighed again. "Then why the heck does he want to marry her?"

"I don't know, Mikan. Aren't you supposed to be the one who's good at analyzing stuff? That's why you're such a great photographer! Because you can find a good angle which makes things a whole lot easier for you!" She started to announce excitedly, sitting up.

"Photography is something visual, Sumire. I've only seen Natsume and Luna together once so how the heck am I supposed to 'analyze' them? And my pictures may have a meaning to me, but it's still up to the viewers on how they understand it."

I groaned in my seat. I was getting a bit impatient already and Sumire's not showing anything tolerable. "I have a theory on why he keeps on insisting on relationships with girls who he isn't compatible with," Sumire said, grinning.

"Pray tell me just what _that_ could possibly be, Sumire."

She smiled slyly with a look on her face that screamed that she wanted to say this the entire evening. I prepared myself for the worst. "Because he has never gotten over you, silly! He deliberately puts himself in doomed relationships because he wants you to realize that you love him too and you'll save him because of that!" By now, Sumire was at the edge of her seat and her face was only a feet away.

"I can't believe you're bringing this up again." I wanted to tell her she was wrong and that she couldn't be _more_ wrong. Natsume and I were _never_ together, so there was nothing to '_get over_' or anything. There was no dramatic senior prom, no tearful '_let's be friends_' reconciliation during high school graduation, no anything that I told her years ago about my imaginary relationship with Natsume.

She was mistaken then, and mistaken now.

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Typed in one seating. Oops. And I'm starting to get excited since the next chapters are so fun. Hrrr. Thank you to all those who reviewed and alerted! You guys are as awesome as apple pie! :)

_Standard disclaimer applied._

**Review, please? :)**

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	4. Therapies

**My Imaginary Ex**  
_Here's what happens when you play pretend._

Chapter 4: _Therapies_

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_College, seven years ago_

"For a frog, I guess you sounded okay," Natsume commented half-heartedly, tossing me my bag and jacket.

"You heard me?" I asked, slapping him playfully on his arm after I barely caught all my things. "There were more than twenty of us on stage!"

"Yeah, but none of them had the same annoyingly pitchy voice of yours that seemed to nag, not sing," he retorted back. Feeling insulted, I stayed in place as he kept walking on. I harrumphed loudly and crossed my arms against my chest when I saw that he didn't acknowledge me. _The jerk!_

I icily glared at his back, hoping that they would bore holes into him. Really, who did he think he was? I rolled my eyes at how _unbelievably impassive_ he was about his rudeness and walked, pacing myself faster to catch up with him.

Just a while ago, we were both at the auditorium of my college. I was practicing there with my college choir while he was seated somewhere near the back, his legs on top of the empty chair in front of him. And as usual, he was browsing through some manga I'm sure he had already read a million times. After a few parts of the song were covered by the easily distracted sopranos in the choir by that '_hottie_' at the back, I stepped to the center where a microphone was placed and asked (more like screamed), "Natsume, I'm sorry that I'm disturbing your little reading session there—"

"Forgiven!" He screamed back, not looking away from his manga—which really, _really_ irritated me some more.

"—but you're disturbing our practice session!"

He removed his manga which covered his face and raised a quirky brow at me quickly then looked at the other girls behind me who apparently were still in a daze at the sight of his oh-so handsome face and grinned, causing some of them to…well, faint. That also includes our male soprano.

"Natsume," I warned through my gritted teeth. But before I could say anything else, Rui Amane, a senior _and_ our male soprano (who immediately recovered), pushed me away from the mic and glared at me. "Oh, but we really don't mind! Don't we, girls?"

A chorus of words of agreement came from the girls, making Rui turn back to the almost empty audience and announced, "So please do stay, Natsume-kun!"

I huffed and looked at the seats in front of us. _That's odd_, I thought, _where the heck did Natsume go_?

"Down here," Natsume called and so naturally I would turn my head to where his voice was. I saw him standing there below the stage with my things in hand, smirking as if he'd just won lifetime immunity to _the game_.

"What?" I asked, greatly annoyed at how smug he was looking at me. _Oh please_, we could play this game tomorrow if he wanted to—just not _now_, while I'm practicing.

"Polka dots," he pointed out rather bluntly, retaining that grin of his. "Be grateful I'm driving you home tonight. Hurry up down or else I'm leaving you."

"How sweet!"

"Hyuuga-san has a girlfriend already?"

"No, I'm sure he's going out with Shouda-san."

"Maybe he's two timing?"

"Oh who cares? I'd give everything to have a guy like him even just as a friend!"

"Sakura-san is so lucky!"

And the comments went on and on about the two of us. Even the tenors and basses started to join in the discussion and talked about me like I wasn't there. I rolled my eyes again and looked at Natsume's retreating figure. A lot of questions started to come into my mind, blocking out the loud remarks from the rest of the choir. What was going on in Natsume's mind and why had he thought of actually driving me home? I mean, he didn't offer but instead told me to be grateful that he was.

_Polka dots, be grateful I'm driving you—_

Wait, what polka dots? I blinked my eyes at him as he turned around to maybe check if I was actually following him. But the look on his face told me that he was waiting for a _reaction_ from me, not me. And I guess that that's what the bastard _is _going to get.

"You freakin' pervert!" I screamed, walking hurriedly down the stairs down the stage (nearly tripping while at it) and ran to the door, holding my skirt down to avoid someone seeing my panties like what the bastard had just done.

I pushed the door open with all the rage inside of me exerting the force. Breathing heavily, I looked around, trying to spot Natsume. I was catching my breath and calming down. I definitely knew better than to throw away all my dignity just because _he_, the bastard I call my friend Natsume, saw something he shouldn't have. I am a calm junior who's going to graduate from college next school year, not the immature, loud and noisy brat I was during elementary.

"For a frog, I guess you sounded okay."

I looked at the door which had just finished swinging to close and saw Natsume, leaning on it with a different expression on his face than the one he had when he was making all the sarcastic remarks a while ago. He threw my bags at me and as I caught them, I debated on acting up on it or not. He was clearly not in much of a good mood, so I took the latter.

And I guess it then led to where we were.

He stopped at his side of the hood of the car as I walked on to the passenger seat's side of it. He looked at me with a straight expression, as if he was almost going to jump on me and stab me with the nearest object that wasn't so dull. I gulped when his eyes met mine. Sure, we'd sometimes find we were staring at each other's eyes when we were together, but today, it gave me a really anxious feeling that told me that there was something happening later.

"Get in the car, polka."

And his more than condescending tone told me that there was something going on and he was surely (at least if I have it my way) going to tell me.

I trudged to the backseat, putting my things at the back before going out again to transfer to the front seat. I took a deep breath and opened the door, slowly sitting down to position myself comfortably against the tensed atmosphere inside the car. I strapped on my seatbelt since I _knew_ that Natsume wasn't really going to be forgiving with his driving when he was like this. I turned my head to the left, expecting a seething Natsume practically clawing out all the material off the steering wheel. Instead, I find this whole quiet Natsume staring blankly in front of him.

I quickly got out of my seat belt and threw my arms around him, not minding the completely uncomfortable position I was in. I was there, hugging him, and I noticed that he had not moved an inch and kept looking blank. After I released him and sat back down properly, he started to tell me that he and Sumire were having problems again and that she brought up the idea of them breaking up.

The choir was supposedly still going to be there for an hour, so we didn't have to worry about anyone seeing us in the car like…_this_. But I guess it didn't matter anyway since it was just Natsume and me, two good friends with a secret—nothing more, nothing less.

"But you've been together for two years," I argued, counting in my head how long it's been. "I mean, I understand that you two are like Christmas lights with the whole on and off thing, but what new problems could you two possibly have now?"

"They're old ones, actually."

"You know, I really hope that I'm not involved in this," I told him honestly with this worried face. "When are you going to tell her that I'm not your ex? I mean, it's just so hard to remember all the things I've told her about _us_!"

"These problems are all about the truth, Mikan. And I just tell her that I'm not one to dwell on the past," he said smoothly, not looking at me. He started the car and just took off. We were both inside, silent. The radio wasn't on so I had to deal with the whole _Natsume-must-be-kind-of-upset_ thing.

The problem was that he didn't look upset _at all_.

He lived ten minutes away from my house. I watched him miss his own highway exit, in favor of the next one, which would lead us to where my village was located.

_Ten more minutes_, I thought, looking at the clock in the car. _And I won't have to deal with the awkward air anymore_!

"So…" I started just to break off the silence. He wasn't looking at me, _obviously_, but I'm sure he was listening anyway. "Did you tell her anything new?"

"Nope. I haven't told as many stories as you have," he replied.

"_Great_. I did all the work and you just reaped the rewards."

"You _are_ a true friend."

I huffed and slumped back into my seat. He was this sarcastic jerk who just couldn't get enough of it, wasn't he?

He pulled over slowly in front of a yellow house. It was small and surely nothing compared to that great mansion he lived in, but it _was_ what home was and there was no way I would trade it in. My parents and I transferred here when I was a little girl. But in my junior year, they both died in a car accident, leaving me with the house and more than enough money to get me through until I get a job.

I got out and took my things from the back, feeling Natsume's gaze following me. I tapped on the window on the passenger seat, making Natsume put it down.

"So, how do we fix this problem with Sumire?" I asked him.

"What do you mean 'we'?" he asked. "This is my problem, Mikan. I don't think I need your help for this."

"Well, I'm your friend! And I'm a girl, so maybe there's a way I could reach out to Sumire that you can't."

Nevertheless, Natsume adamantly refused all my offers. I couldn't imagine what his problem with Sumire could be since he never complained about her—except when she got _too clingy_, but I don't think he was that shallow to break up with her because of that. He never mentioned fighting with her, too. I'd usually see him in a foul mood, but I guess he's always like that.

It's just that he really never said anything about her.

I pouted at him, glaring. "Then why the heck did you have to steal me away from practice and tell me all about your problem when you don't even want me to help? Heck, even a journal's supposed to help! You don't just scream your problem out, Natsume, and expect that things will suddenly go your way. You _need_ someone's help."

By the time I finished my little speech, I was breathing heavily. Natsume didn't even bother to look up at me. He was just seated there, his bangs covering his eyes and his lips parted as if confused.

"Goodnight," he managed to tell me without looking up.

I smiled anyway. "Goodnight, Natsume."

"Problem? Natsume talked to you about our '_problem_'?"

Perhaps I caught Sumire at a bad time. She looked stress with the messier hair, crumpled skirt, and really heavy eye bags. She was carrying a folder bulging with papers. She didn't look like she was hurrying, but she sure did look annoyed at _me_.

"Err, no. But he's like, having PMS or something. He's been getting irrationally moody. He told me that you there was a problem, but he didn't tell me what exactly. I'm sure he wants to fix it, though."

Sumire petulantly hugged her folder and glared at me. "Whatever the 'problem' between me and Natsume is, Mikan, it is _so_ not your business. I am just _done_ with the two of you! Maybe I should lock you two up in a room and you can either fight it out or end up together. Either way, I am _done_."

She turned around and walked away, some people throwing looks at us back and forth. The iciness in her voice started to seep in and I ran after her. "Wait, Sumire! It's really not what you think—"

"It won't matter if the whole world thinks like that! It's just how it is, Mikan."

"Sumire," I breathed, trying to ignore the clearly aggravated look on her face. "Please don't break up with Natsume over this. Maybe you just misunderstood? We really don't have feelings for one another—I promise you that. I bet you were seeing something completely innocent and just giving it a wrong interpretation."

Sumire paused, her grip on her folder loosening. She gave another exasperated and rather loud sigh. "Why does he tell you _everything_?"

"He doesn't," I replied honestly.

"Fine! But why does he tell you _everything_ he tells me? I'm his girlfriend for heaven's sake! Shouldn't I come first or something?"

"You do, Sumire. I don't even know where he is half the time. We don't even _hang out_."

And technically, that _was_ true. Our whole friendship was spent on transit. When he'd be on his way to the coffee shop? The library? The cafeteria? The Social Science department? Drive me home from choir practice? Natsume would just wander off to my usual spots and if I had nothing else to do, I went along.

"We're just friends, Sumire," I tried to convince her again since she didn't respond to my last line.

"I don't treat my friends the way he treats you," she said bitterly, frowning at me.

I started to get desperate for words, I knew. "Well he's my ex—"

"I'm not friends with any of my exes," she looked at me accusingly. "It's not healthy and you _know_ it."

_We just share a secret, and that can really bring people together._

"I, I think—" I started, stuttering. Oh god, what do I say? "I'm sure Natsume isn't like any of your dickhead exes, Sumire. That was because you were the first girlfriend more than once! I'm friends with Natsume because he was mature when he forgave me and all—you _liked_ that about him," I desperately reminded her. I covered my mouth with my hands when I remembered that I just said something about her ex from the first girlfriend theory talk I had with Natsume.

The look on Sumire's face told me that she was _more_ than pissed. "He told you about that? God!" She was stomping away angrily now, an unbelievable expression on her face.

"No, he didn't! It's just that I—" I tried to look for words to save me get out of this really sticky situation. "Sumire, please—"

She turned around, making me stop (since I followed her) and said, "Mikan, I appreciate you standing up for him, but still, this is none of your business."

She broke up with him right before Christmas, but it looked like she gave it a try three weeks after we talked. I didn't tell Natsume about it, and from the looks of it, neither did Sumire. So now, I had a secret shared with Sumire, too.

The news got to me on the last day of school before the Christmas break would start. I was looking for Natsume where he would usually be, but only found Ruka, his closest friend who was in the same course. I didn't know who Natsume's friends were personally, but last year, Ruka was my ballroom dancing for P.E., so we kind of knew each other.

"Did he leave already?" I asked him.

"Yeah," he replied.

"Just now?" I asked again.

"They were talking by that tree for almost an hour. Then he went home. Sumire _finally_ broke up with him for good." Ruka chuckled and petted this…_rabbit_ he was bringing around.

"You say that like you've been waiting for that to happen." I laughed along with Ruka.

"Well, Natsume never really did look happy with her. Sure, I'd see Sumire pull him into a kiss a few times, but it was never Natsume who started anything," Ruka explained as we walked to a convenience store. "Heck, I don't think Natsume even told her that he _loved_ her."

Suddenly, I felt this _pity _for Sumire. I went to the frozen section and took out a half gallon of strawberry ice cream. Ruka peeked over from behind me and laughed heartily. "He's not a girl, you know."

"Really? Could've fooled me." And I laughed along with him.

That night, I showed up at his extremely huge house. Some maids, already used to seeing me, led me to the entertainment room where he usually stayed in. The door was closed, but I could feel a cold wind from inside brushing on my toes. The maids left me there and I opened the door with the tub of ice cream in one hand and some South Park DVD's in the other. He eyed me warily and laughed at the gifts I had bought.

"Polka," he _fondly_ called me that ever since the whole during-choir-practice incident. "If it hasn't occurred to you yet, I'm not a girl."

"I never said you were. I know strawberry ice cream is your favorite and that you find South Park hilarious," I told him, sitting down on the carpeted floor after putting in one DVD. "Just to celebrate the beginning of the Christmas break. I think I'll be going to the countryside to visit my grandfather. It gets awfully lonely at home and I'm sure he'd appreciate my company there."

He relaxed into his couch and twitched his lips upward—no, I would not dare call it a smile. "You're really something, aren't you, polka? Remind me why you're here again."

"Because I'm such a great friend," I told him as I scooped myself some ice cream. "Come on, Natsume. Kenny dies for real in this episode."

And _that_ earned me something near a smile from him.

Natsume and I both skipped dinner since we were sort of full from all the ice cream. I played the good friend, and didn't bring up the topic of Sumire and him breaking up. We talked about how we were going to be seniors next year, what electives we would be possibly joining, this business project that he thought he could use for his thesis, and how his economics teacher embarrassed himself in front of his class the other day.

After we finished half a season's worth of episodes, I stood up, yawning. "Maybe I should go, Natsume. It's getting late."

"Why? Is someone waiting for you at home?" He sat down properly and stretched his arms.

Ignoring the slight pang in my chest, I said, "Point taken."

"I still need to sleep and pack for my trip. Come on," I took his hand and practically dragged him out the door. "You drive me home!"

"I don't think I ever agreed to that, Polka."

"Please, Natsume? You love me enough to do that, right?" I pouted and blinked my large brown eyes at him. He rolled his eyes and took my wrist, _him _dragging me this time. Passing by the maids' quarter, the elder ladies peeked out and winked at me, giggling and blushing.

I didn't need any more orders when we got to the car. I immediately got in and strapped my seat belt on. No words; no exchanged looks—just my pursed lips and him driving calmly. We've ran out of stories to tell, I guess. And when we were already in my village, I decided to break the uneasy space between us.

"Natsume, about Sumire... I just—"

He cut me. "I thought you wanted to make me feel better."

"Talking helps, you know?" I told him.

"If you really want me to feel better, you'd drop the whole 'break up' thing, okay?"

"Why, Natsume?" I faced him and asked, putting a really sad look on.

"Because _I'm not one to dwell on the past_," he replied calmly, saying the same thing he told me last month.

"No, I didn't mean _that_. I meant why don't you look that affected? I've seen guys get dumped or something and they at least looked like something happened to them. You, on the other hand, are just being…_you_. I mean," I growled in frustration over my choice of words. "Are you sure this isn't caused by our fake relationship?"

"Absolutely sure." For a moment, I thought he was merely protecting me. Maybe that was because he _knew_ I would feel bad if I was involved in their break up. Even if Sumire didn't tell Natsume about our chat a few weeks prior, she pointedly stated that _my_ name was on _their_ problem.

"Natsume, it may not seem like it, but I really _can_ handle things now. I'm getting the idea that you your impression on me is still the same when we were in high school: the annoying lab partner who kept on screeching when this thing would happen to the test tubes—"

"It still is."

"—I just want you to tell me the truth about stuff. That's all. In any case, next time…err, don't bring _us_ up. I think Sumire's impression on you was tainted by a lie. Next time, just be yourself," I told him with a confident smile.

Natsume stopped the car and exhaled dramatically as he did. I looked out at the window and saw my house. I reached over and squeezed his hand, smiling as I did. "I'm sorry about Sumire. You should never again tell anyone about the imaginary ex-_us_, okay?"

He looked at me with a softer expression, squeezing my hand back with a really small smile. "I think that's a good idea."

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This chapter is awfully long. I hope it makes up for the people who found the last chapter too short! There are like, a lot of things I can't post because my USB is missing. I had two one-shots, and two updates in there. I am growling because I'm so upset, too. But I swear, when I find it, I am posting everything I have. But as of the moment, all I can update is this. Thank you for all those who reviewed the repost of this story!

If you find errors, feel free to correct me in your review. I fail at editing my own works.

_Standard disclaimer applied_.

**Review please? :)**

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	5. Additions

**My Imaginary Ex**  
_Here's what happens when you play pretend._

Chapter 5: _Additions_

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_Coffee shop, present day_

"Well, if it's any help, Natsume didn't ask anyone out for _months_ after you broke up with him," I offered, putting up a form of evidence of Natsume's '_true feelings'_ for her. "From my point of view, you messed him up, Sumire."

I put on an uneasy smile as she shook her head. She was obviously not buying it. "He didn't ask anyone because _you_ were _there_, Mikan. More than ten years together and then what, you're still in denial about this?" She wasn't angry that I didn't believe her, though. If anything, the look on her face said she was _amused_.

After the whole dramatic talk we had in college, we _did_ speak to one another again. We were classmates in philosophy, and we eventually started greeting quick hellos in the halls. At graduation, we even hugged—but I guess everyone _was_ emotional that day.

"Are we really going to keep on talking about this, Sumire?" I whined, the little smirk on her face getting gradually bigger.

"Mikan, I know that you think that I'm the one contradicting stuff, but really, I—" she paused and looked above my head; her smirk was suddenly replaced with an excited (and sinister) smile. "Thank goodness you're here!"

I turned around and almost choked on my drink. "H-Hi, Nobara."

Nobara Ibaragi was a bit thinner than when I last saw her, but that didn't change the fact that she was undeniably beautiful. Her blue-gray hair had elegant curls at the ends and was cut shorter, accentuating her weight loss some more. She smiled at Sumire and me and took the empty seat beside me, dropping her bag under the table.

I gulped as she started to talk with Sumire. Nobara was Natsume's second girlfriend.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! The meeting took longer than I expected," Nobara apologized with a still graceful tone. "I'm guessing that you two didn't bother to wait for me and discussed already?"

Sumire shrugged and took a muffin. "I just gave her the gist of what we want her to do."

"That's good." Nobara turned to me, her glazed icy-blue eyes turning to me with a brighter smile. "And what did she say?"

"She's _not_ on speaking terms with him," Sumire replied.

"You're kidding, aren't you?" Nobara addressed me directly now. Her slender fingers slightly covered her mouth as she gasped at Sumire's oh-so sudden revelation. Really, what was the big deal with it? "What happened, Mikan?"

I still wasn't sure what was happening since I knew I was spacing out during their talk, but I answered her anyway. "I don't know. We were kind of okay, but then he just stopped—" I paused, looking at the other two girls' faces that looked like they were expecting something _juicy_ from me. "—you know what? I don't have to explain anything to you. Or to you. Heck, how did you two even meet?"

"Yoga," they both answered at the same time. They looked at each other and smiled. "I didn't figure out who she was until I found out her last name," Nobara giggled lightly as she recalled the rather embarrassing event she explained to me during one of their yoga classes:

Sumire was sitting on her mat, beside Nobara. They were doing quick breathing exercises while the weekly attendance sheet was being passed around. So when Nobara got the list and saw Sumire's whole name on it, she immediately whispered loudly in her typical Nobara fashion, "Sumire Shouda, as in the ex of Natsume Hyuuga?" Apparently, she had never met Sumire, only heard her during random radio streams, had only seen a small picture of her on one website and knew nothing about her.

When Nobara excused herself to buy a drink, Sumire filled me in on how they formed their strange friendship.

"I heard that he had a new girlfriend from one of my sources," Sumire explained, taking another bite of the muffin she took a while ago. "Just that she was a girl he met at work or something."

"Um, yeah. They entered the company place thing at the same time."

"Well, Nobara is cool," Sumire pressed her lips as if thinking. "She's really not what I expected her to be. I mean, she looked like she was a porcelain doll."

Before I could reply, Nobara sat back down at our table with her own tall cup of some mocha drink. "You know, you guys, this is so funny and ironic," she started with her timid tone. "Natsume's three exes, all together!"

I resisted the urge to frown at how wrong her statement was. _Do you mean Natsume's _two_ exes, Nobara?_

"I'm sorry," Nobara apologized again. "You two were saying?"

"Sumire just said that you weren't what she expected."

"Oh." Nobara puffed her cheeks cutely and batting her eyelashes innocently. _Gosh, she _is_ a doll!_ "Well, Sumire wasn't what I expected to be either. I kind of expected her to be…err, more like me. I just thought that Natsume had this type, you know?"

I looked at the two of them and understood what they meant. (Sort of since I wouldn't know what Natsume's type was either.) Sumire greatly reminded me of college—all enthusiastic, peppy and high spirited. It isn't so surprising that she's in the entertainment industry. Nobara, on the other hand, was this refined heiress—usually serious, timid at times but never failing to give off a smile. That didn't mean that they were complete opposites, they were just really different.

There was this _ease_ between them that I didn't feel. At all. "But you two are friends now. That must mean something, right?"

Sumire laughed at me—_and how dare she when I was already so desperate to get out of this café?_ "Trust me, Mikan. We have absolutely _nothing_ in common. We really tried, but apart from Natsume and yoga, we have nothing."

"We can't even watch movies together!" Nobara smiled after faking a frustrated face. "But it was really interesting getting to know her since Natsume _never_ talked about her."

"Well, he talked about _Mikan_ a lot," Sumire retorted. I thought she was getting bitter again (or at least a near emotion to that), but her amused lips never went down.

"Totally," Nobara added. "I like, knew about the boss you hated, some stalker of a co-worker you had at your first office…and all about you and Tsubasa."

_Me and…Tsubasa? _"Nobara, I don't really think now's the time—"

Sumire threw me an annoyed look. "Don't think we didn't plan what we were going to tell you, Mikan. Just listen."

Nobara looked at the two of us and went on. "I figured out how your relationship would be with Tsubasa when he first asked you out—to his game. You two fought a lot, too. Natsume was telling me about a new fight every other week."

I sighed. "Look, Tsubasa and I broke up a long time ago. It's nothing now—"

"The point is," Nobara cut me, with a bit of ice in her tone. I guess I _was_ annoying her and Sumire. " Why would Natsume care so much about your relationship with Tsubasa? I mean, you two supposedly broke up in _high school_. Yet, we followed the ups and downs of your relationship as if it were some soap opera."

"See, it's not just me!" Sumire commented rather excitedly. I couldn't help but to laugh at how childish it sounded when it came from her. But Nobara suddenly hushed us and spoke in a _dead serious_ tone.

"Natsume is totally in love with you, Mikan. I can't believe you're dense enough to not see it. He'll end it with Luna if you ask him to."

"I don't know if you two are purposely setting me up to something with a hidden intention—"

"We're not."

"—but I am _not_ going to ask Natsume to do such a thing!"

Nobara arched her thin eyebrows at me. "Really? So you don't remember what you did for me five years ago?"

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So that's where this chapter ends. I'm sorry if you guys think I'm purposely leaving you hanging. I'm not, really. I still can't find my USB. But due to something *cough*Ate Gen's fic*cough* I'll be rewriting that NatsumeHotaru one-shot I was going to post before I lost my USB. At this rate, I can update the next chapter in three to four days since it's lengthy. I have nothing else to do other than sing and write anyway. I need people to criticize my work, btw. I'm still unsure of my errors here, so please point them out if you can spot them!

_**Important Note**_: I am officially dedicating this fic to all of my amici at Amicus. I love you guys so much even if you don't love me too!

_Standard disclaimer applied_.

**Oh! Please tell me what you'd like to see some more in this fic in your review. :)**

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	6. Cycles

**My Imaginary Ex**  
_Here's what happens when you play pretend._

Chapter 6: _Cycles_

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_Five years ago_

While Sumire and the rest of the people in college disappeared from my radar, Natsume didn't. He still lived in his family's house, ten minutes away from mine, while his parents moved to another one that was more than an hour away. Just a few months after school, both of us found jobs in the same area. He took his car to work, and I rode with him when I woke up early enough.

If I had changed after four years after college, then so did he—especially since he got an apprenticeship for an executive position at a big company. I really didn't understand why he chose to work away from his family's corporation, really. But in any case, he was required to wear a nice shirt and tie every day, so he looked more mature than his college torn-denim-jeans-plus-normal-shirt look.

I, on the other hand, began taking field work for this newspaper publication thing. But me going out only happened when they had no one else to cover events, so I usually just sifted e-mails and helped screen walk-in applicants because my co-workers said that _'I knew how to read people_.'

There, I had my own little group. We (three girls and one guy) banded together after we found out about our common dislike for the floor leader. We had lunch together and would sometimes catch a movie after work if everyone was up for it. Albeit those, I still had my almost daily morning and evening car rides with Natsume.

Years ago, I would've hated to admit it, but now, I was proud of him; how he was looking more professional each day and how he lessened all those immature teases to me.

"Polka, I am _serious_ here."

Well, maybe expect that stupid nickname he gave me.

"As soon as you get an offer, I want you to leave that damned office of yours."

I felt vexed at his words. "I've only been there for a few months! And who the hell are you anyway to order me like that—my father?" I breathed heavily with added loathing dripping from my sarcastic tone. "Wait, don't answer that. I'm positively sure that you'll find a way to insult me _again_."

"You'll never learn, won't you? I mean, just find a place where your superior won't keep on sending you down to photocopy things. _That's not even part of your job_. You're supposed to be out there, not cooped inside to read mails. You know you can do better than whatever you're doing right now."

And I guess he was partially right with that. But then again, that was the difference between his industry and mine. The special program he was in was exclusive for heirs and heiresses, but they all shared the same ambition and want for better opportunities. Meanwhile I was pretty much in an assembly line. It wasn't fast tracked at all, and I like how everything was slowing down for once.

I was a photography major in college, and people kept on asking me what good that will do for my future career. Portraiture was my favorite kind of photography. I wasn't sure why, but I just really loved analyzing people. I could've chosen to become a psychology major instead because I somehow dreamt of becoming a counselor when I was in high school, but in the end it turned out that I'd rather capture expressions and find out meanings behind them on my own. I didn't think I needed thick books to categorize every single action a person did.

I sat down with the rest of the people in the Human Resources department. Sure, I didn't belong there with all the trained psych majors, but they kept me around. I wasn't sure why, but I knew it had something to do with me being able to help figuring people around. And truth be told, I was fascinated by the new things I've seen and learned so far.

From my small desk, I saw new workers pass by. From names on resumes, they became employees, and eventually I started seeing their effects on the workplace. Some were good decisions, and some were not so. But I'd have to credit Natsume for being right about me liking reading people. I didn't think that it would lead me to a high-powered career, but hey, this was my first year anyway. I have the rest of my life to think about other things.

The really comfortable carpool routine between me and Natsume continued for a few months. We would always be laughing, somehow enjoying each other's company. Then Natsume's schedule suddenly got erratic, and then he had to go visit other branches of their company in far places. For a few weeks, I didn't see him at all.

And well, that was when I ran into Ruka at a mall.

"Hi!" I beamed at him. I _was_ happy to see him, after all. "How are you?"

"Fine, I guess. I've been working with Natsume—but I bet _you_ knew that already." He chuckled lightly, tossing me into a hug. It was kind of awkward, but I guess that that was Ruka's kindness for you. Behind Ruka, I saw that there was this girl standing as if she was waiting for Ruka to get over seeing me. She reminded me of Hotaru because of the icy aura around her, but she was much too _dainty_ to be as cold-hearted as my best friend.

"I always thought you were going to become a vet, Ruka-_pyon_," I teased him with another giggle.

"Yeah, but you can't always get what you want," he replied, scratching the back of his head with a silly expression.

We continued chatting for a few minutes, and I had to say that I enjoyed his presence a lot. While Natsume was gone, I actually had no one else there to talk to other than the people at work. So naturally, Ruka's meeting with me was very much enlightening. The girl standing behind Ruka a while ago coughed and then tugged on his sleeve.

"Ruka, would you mind if you introduce me to your friend?" she asked. Her voice sounded uncertain, like she was a little girl waiting for her daddy to finally get home from a meeting. Ruka smiled.

"I don't, really. Mikan," he addressed to me. "Meet Nobara Ibaragi. Nobara, this is Mikan Sakura," he introduced. I smiled warmly as Nobara held out her hand for me to shake, I guess. "Mikan attended the same college as I did; Nobara works with me, too."

I shook her hand. And it was weird for me because it felt very…_official_. She had on a corporate attire and was slightly intimidating if it weren't for that smile she had on her face. My handshake felt _flimsy_ in comparison, and I felt insecure about everything that was her. But after a few seconds, I shrugged it off.

"Oh!" Ruka's eyes widened as if he had an epiphany and I frowned. _Please, please don't tell her about me being…_ "Mikan is Natsume's ex."

I groaned inwardly. I hadn't been called Natsume's ex for _months_. And now, because of meeting Ruka, the stress of having to maintain the whole lie returned again. "Ruka, that was long ago…"

Nobara's eyes widened, too. And she looked very interested in the topic. "Wow. Is she?"

"Why don't you ask her? It's okay for you to talk about Natsume, isn't it, Mikan?" Ruka asked. I groaned _again_. It's not like I had a choice, now is it?

"Um, sure."

Nobara hesitated, but Ruka prodded her to continue anyway. "It's just that… I kind of wanted to ask Natsume to our Christmas party."

_Woah. Major déjà vu here._ Nobara liked Natsume. And it was kind of cute since they had the same initials for their names. However, the word that was going around was that Natsume was _unfortunately_ still hung up on his ex, and had not dated anyone else after breaking up with her _years_ ago.

I wasn't sure how many times I've groaned during this discussion, but I was bound to do it again when the topic was about my imaginary relationship with Natsume. "What does this have to do with me?"

Nobara tugged on Ruka's sleeve again (probably for support) and faced me again. "It's you, isn't it? Aren't you the ex he isn't over yet?"

"_No_," I replied emphatically. With having said that, I felt Ruka suddenly tense. "You probably mean Sumire. They broke up in third year."

"O-Oh," Nobara stuttered. "I'm sorry, I just thought that—"

"If I was the ex he wasn't over yet, I'm sure we would be all awkward when we meet," I added, gritting my teeth at Ruka. He again put on a silly expression.

"Didn't you two get back together in college? After Sumire and Natsume broke up?"

"Wouldn't that make me a whore?" I replied sarcastically, earning myself a giggle from Nobara. "Come on, Ruka. You were there when I bought ice cream for him. I was merely playing as the supportive friend."

"Yeah, whatever," he replied, throwing a smirk. "Still, you're probably closer to him than any of us. If there's anyone Nobara should ask about this, it's you."

It was true how Natsume never talked to many people—not even Ruka—about deeply personal stuff. I only found out about them when we would trade stories—and that really wasn't much. So what Ruka wanted me to do was talk to Natsume and be obliviously deliberate about the idea of him going to the Christmas party with Nobara, just to see what he thought of it.

"You want me to ask him out for you?" I asked. I couldn't believe _this_. It was like when Natsume came to me for the favor of indirectly asking Sumire to go out with him. There was no nostalgic bliss coming to me, only this putrid stench of the past.

"No, I just want to see if he's open to it. If he isn't, then I won't ask him—_no harm done_. If he's still as heartbroken as the other people say, I won't force or rush him into anything," Nobara explained, still shyly. "Ruka told me that you two are like, really close. So I thought that you might be able to help me."

I shook my head at Ruka. "And you can't do this by yourself?"

"I wouldn't know how." He contorted a smile.

"And I wouldn't trust him to do it right," Nobara added, giggling lightly. She glanced at her watch and back up at Ruka and me. "Ruka, I've a presentation in ten minutes. You don't mind if I go ahead?"

"Nah. I'll catch up. I have something to do, too," he replied. Nobara acknowledged it by nodding and turned to me.

"It was nice meeting you, Mikan. Thanks in advance!" She smiled once more and left me and Ruka.

"Ruka," I said in a warning tone. "Why the heck are you doing _this_ when you have your own love life to worry about?"

"Me? I have a girlfriend," he replied with an edge of smugness. "She didn't go to the same college, so I don't think you know her."

"I'm guessing she's famous?"

"Sort of… Wait." He took out his phone from his pocket and (I assumed) read a new message. I saw him puff his cheeks adorably for a few seconds, until he put back on that serious face. "Mikan, I have to go now, too. It was really nice seeing you again!"

My lips thinned to a straight line. "You didn't answer my question yet!"

Ruka was rushing, and walking briskly ahead while I _tried_ to catch up. "Err. She's Hotaru Imai. If you know her, she must be famous for you."

I stopped in my tracks and only noticed that his whole body melted into a rushing crowd that was exiting a big pair of glass doors.

_Say…what?_

Natsume finally came back the week after my chance encounter with Ruka, so on the first day back to his regular office schedule, he picked me up.

"Yay!" I cheered after sliding into the passenger seat, trying to remember how I sat comfortably there before Natsume had to leave. "I finally have a car again!"

Natsume stifled a laugh. "You missed this car more than me? Ouch."

I put on a playful pout and did a thinking expression. "I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I waited everyday for you to pick me up at this time, Natsume."

"So you _did_ miss me," Natsume said.

"You suck so much."

"You didn't deny it." I gritted my teeth forcefully as he gave off one of his trademark cocky smirks. _Arrogant bastard_.

"So," I feigned cheerfulness. Though, it was really nice to have him back. "How was your trip?"

"I know that that's not what you want to find out. You want to find out if something _awful_ happened to me because you're all for schadenfreude," Natsume sarcastically remarked.

"Oh, whatever. I'm always the antagonist here anyway." I rolled my eyes at him. "So, I saw Ruka the other day…"

No response from him.

I sighed. "Natsume, have you seen Sumire lately?"

"Sumire?" He gave a surprised and at the same time amused look at me bringing her up. "No."

"I was just wondering if you…if you were finally thinking of dating someone else—get your eyes off of me, you pervert, and put them back on the road—I mean, it's been years since the whole Sumire issue of yours. I think people think that you're gay now or something because you don't—"

"You actually believe them?" He let out an exasperated breath. "Polka, what the hell makes you think that I don't think about that? I think about it all the time." He wasn't angry. Heaven forbid, no. He was…_amused_. And as usual, I was greatly confused.

"Well, it's not obvious. Why don't you try asking someone out for a…fresh start?"

The brakes screeched rather irritatingly as the car halted to a stop. I winced and looked outside to find the big newspaper publication building. Natsume pressed his lips as if thinking. "What are you up to, Polka?"

"Nothing, Natsume," I replied honestly. "I just think that you should get your single ass back into the dating scene. That's all."

"And who do you suggest I start with?" He asked with a suggestive look on his face…which was inches away from mine, just so you know. We were directly outside the building where I worked, and if someone I knew from there happened to pass by, I really wouldn't know what to do.

"Um," I started, looking at him. _Wow_, _he has pretty eyes_. "How do you feel about Nobara?"

He stopped and reclined himself back on his seat. "Nobara?"

"Nobara Ibaragi, your officemate? She was with Ruka the day I bumped into him. She's really nice…and pretty," I inwardly recoiled as I remembered how insecure I had felt when I saw her. "I think you should ask her out on a friendly date. Or better, to your Christmas Party. I heard from Ruka that you guys had one, so… I mean, why not Nobara?"

Of course, that was a rhetorical question. Natsume was a nice guy (underneath it all) and Nobara was actually attractive in many ways. There was no reason for him to not consider her, and he didn't give any. As he heaved a sigh that had a trace of exhaustion, I wondered if Monday was a bad day to bring this up.

"Y-You're right," he said after what I assumed was a really, really long pause. "I think I've been stalling long enough. I think I _will_ take Nobara to the party. Yeah."

I pressed my lips lightly and got out the car. He drove off without another word, with me only mouthing "Take care."

I wouldn't admit to it in actuality, but I was slightly disappointed that he didn't fight with me about it. Natsume was _no_ fun.

As Natsume's relationship with Nobara progressed from Christmas party date to much more than that, I began seeing less of him. Though he was sweet enough to offer me a ride to work at least once a week, I told him that he shouldn't bother that much about me. And since Natsume is just too stubborn for his own good, he drove me to work every Wednesday. Those car rides felt remarkably short, too. The more time we spent apart, the more stories we tried to cram in those forty-minute drives.

We were pretty much growing apart.

And then my love life started getting interesting.

I met Tsubasa Andou at the waiting room of the HR department. I decided to practice around with the people inside as my subjects. The applicants who came before didn't mind, of course, so I just took shots unknowingly. They all walked in with nervous smiles, I noted, and retained that as they sat down. From the screening room _sauntered_ out Tsubasa, a confident smirk etched on his face. I wasn't entirely sure what job he applied for, but I just _knew_ he was going to get it.

I took a picture of him when he posed (cockily, I might add) in front of my camera. There was something about that star-shaped tattoo underneath his left eye that entranced me. I lifted my face from behind the camera and smiled shyly. "I-It looks nice."

"Mikan Sakura, I'm a fan," Tsubasa said coolly, winking. "Hey, I was just wondering…"

In the next few minutes, I discovered that we went to rival colleges and I giggled madly like a fan girl at each witty thing he would say. Next thing I knew, he promptly invited me to the next big basketball game.

"Are you sure?" I asked him. "What if you guys lose?"

"Doesn't matter. Best team always wins anyway," he replied, rather haughtily. And I was surprised at myself when I found his condescending attitude not disgusting. _Wow_.

He walked out with a guaranteed slot in whatever department he applied in—and eventually, a girlfriend.

.

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This is kind of longer than whatever was the average before. The next chapter will be short and the one after that will be excruciatingly long…at least for me. So I guess I'll split the eighth chapter into two. Please tell me if you spot errors and I'll be more than glad to clear them up. If you're confused, PM me and I'll explain things. I need more inspiration to write, so _dare_ to inspire me!

I have a talent audition this Saturday, so please do wish me luck and encourage me! I'm getting nervous and jittery. :( I'm not expecting to pass, but I'm still trying.

_Standard disclaimer applied_.

**Review please? :)**

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	7. Secrets

**My Imaginary Ex**  
_Here's what happens when you play pretend._

Chapter 7: _Secrets_

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_Coffee shop, present day_

Nobara was right. I _did_ forget what I had done for her five years ago.

"But I didn't do it _for_ you," I insisted. "I just wanted what was best for Natsume. I mean, he was such a loner and all."

"Really?" Sumire asked a bit surprised. "Didn't he have a lot of friends?"

"I think the only one he really talked to was Ruka. For a time there, we didn't even know when his birthday was," Nobara answered, taking another sip from her drink.

They both turned to me with a look that said I had something to do with it.

"Mikan, why is this not obvious to you? Natsume_ listens_ to you. He went out with Nobara because you _asked_ him to. Are you really _that_ oblivious?" Sumire asked, nearing a point of exasperation. Once I threw her an almost menacing stare, she apologized.

"Look, you guys. I really don't have that much influence over him as you think," I paused only to bite my tongue. "And besides, why should I care about this? He hasn't talked to me in _months_. I'm pretty sure that that's a sign he doesn't want me to meddle in whatever he does right now…right?"

They looked at each other. Nobara leaned in, took a breath, and said, "I know Luna's cheating on him."

Luna Koizumi was also part of the program Natsume and Nobara were in. She and Nobara were friends, or at least they used to be. I wasn't so sure. I only knew that their families were in good relations with one another. After that, the only other thing I knew about Nobara was that she was with Natsume, they broke up, and then Natsume went with Luna…thus breaking the ties of their families? I really, _really_ don't know.

"Natsume's smart. I'm pretty sure that he figured that out some time ago and fixed it," I said.

"You don't know Luna, Mikan. And even if he did, I'm sure Luna would still find a way to defy him," Nobara started. "Luna was flirting with Natsume during the last months of our relationship. And it just got so out of hand and irritating that I couldn't take it. I just couldn't handle with the competition Luna was firing at me with her overly sexually fantasized antics."

"That is disgusting," Sumire commented with a horrified expression while I felt…very uneasy.

"I know right? She once went to work without a bra."

Very, very, _very_ uneasy.

"Anyways, they were assigned to site visits together," Nobara complained. "Like, three times in a row. And the way we were supposed to be paired up was random. Ruka and I concluded that her _oh-so dear_ daddy had something to do with it."

"Why didn't you just trust him?" I asked.

Nobara and Sumire rolled their eyes. "Well of course _you_ had no problem trusting him," Nobara said. "Sumire and I, we had to go through the feeling that we were competing."

I turned to Sumire. As far as I could remember, nobody dared to go near Natsume when they were together in college. Otherwise, they would have had to face the wicked witch of the west side of college. Sumire pointedly raised a brow and said, "With memories."

Oh.

"Of you."

_Oh_.

"So there was that, and Luna being Luna… I gave up. I just knew it wasn't going to work if Luna was there." She shrugged, like she was shaking off unwanted thoughts in her head. "But I have a new boyfriend now and I have nothing but positive energy for Natsume."

"How did you find out that she was, or is, cheating on him?" I asked.

"Let me get to that," Nobara said, now smiling. "Natsume and Luna got together after a few months, and that pretty much divided our group of friend—they unconsciously chose sides."

"I don't know the Luna bitch personally, but I'm sure she meant to do it that way," Sumire commented. "You know, just so you and Natsume wouldn't talk or something."

"I think so too. Natsume and I only saw each other a few times. Luna monopolized _all_ of his time."

_That explains a lot_, I thought.

"So, yeah. Luna and I _randomly _got assigned to attend a conference and the company paid for us to share a hotel room for three days, I think. Anyways, my aunt had a condo near the area, so I decided to not use the room. On the second night, I got _sort of_ tipsy; I didn't trust myself to drive home. I still had the key to the room and I decided to crash there—"

"Then Nobara saw Luna and some random guy having sex!" Sumire cut, exclaiming rather loudly. I cringed as Sumire did.

"Sumire, you spoiled it." Nobara frowned. "But it doesn't make it any less true, I guess. Mikan, don't you see it? The conference happened two months ago, after the invitations were handed out."

"She was picking up guys in office conferences three months before her own wedding!" Nobara looked at me meaningfully. "You guys don't know her, but this is _classic_ Luna. I remember when we were little, she would sometimes raise her skirt up to other boys. I just didn't think that she'd still be doing this. And to Natsume, of all people."

I sighed. "So what, Nobara? Guys do it with some random prostitute _a day_ before their wedding. It's only kind of fair that some girls can pull that off too."

They both shot me almost desperate looks. "Do you _not_ understand the severity of this situation, Mikan? I'm sure you don't mean that," Sumire said. And she was right about the latter: I didn't mean that.

"You were tipsy. Are you sure she wasn't with Natsume?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. I think I'd know what Natsume would look like at least half-naked."

Sumire and I both looked at each other with this...freaked out expression and then looked at Nobara, who was blushing mildly.

"Anyway, I've debated with myself a zillion times about what to do with this info. If I tell Luna, she'll think I'm just jealous _again_ and won't change. If I tell Natsume, he won't believe me and will probably just think I'm bitter," Nobara said.

"I can't tell him either," Sumire said. ""We haven't talked in years. So, Nobara and I thought that you were the best person to do this. Natsume's a genius, we know, but he's just _so_ dumb when it comes to girls. He doesn't deserve this, Mikan. You _know_ it."

They were absolutely right—Natsume didn't deserve what Luna's doing. My heart sank a little, wondering if he ever knew about it. He never talked to me about it. And he never complained to me about his girlfriends. Was he suffering silently or just plain clueless?

They were also right about the other thing—that neither of them was in a good position to tell Natsume. Exes weren't really the best kind of messenger for this kind of news.

But then again, wasn't I an ex, too? It was in an imaginary relationship, sure. But what Sumire and Nobara knew was that Natsume and I were in a relationship in high school.

We're not on speaking terms now, and I totally blame him for cutting off his connections to me, but that didn't mean I was going to refuse to help him. It was awful of me to even _think_ of deserting him at a time like this.

"So...are you in?" Sumire asked.

I nodded slowly. "Natsume is lucky to have you two looking out for him."

"Or cursed," Nobara laughed.

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This is another short chapter. I'm so sorry! ._. But that's how it goes, and I will be dividing the next chapter into two chapters or something because it is kinda long. Please be patient and bear with me. :)

Ask me questions about this fic, and I will answer them. XD

_Standard disclaimer applied._

**Review, please? :)**

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	8. Happenings

**My Imaginary Ex**  
_Here's what happens when you play pretend._

Chapter 8: _Happenings_

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_Four years ago_

Tsubasa and I broke up three times over three years. Natsume's joke about it was that we celebrated our anniversary by separating. I laughed the first time he said it. The next year, it happened again. Natsume joked about it, too, but it just wasn't funny anymore. I couldn't figure out exactly why we faced almost the same problems every year—I could only guess that it was one of his superiority complex issues in which I could not tolerate his egotistic nature.

At least Natsume had the decency to show that he really cared about me when we hung out.

Sometimes, Tsubasa just acted like I was a lost puppy that should be overly gracious that I got adopted into a relationship. He was three years older than me, sure, but he could be sweet, funny, and sensitive…at least when he remembered to be. Otherwise, he was a total jerk.

Say, like Natsume.

When I first introduced them to one another over dinner at a nice restaurant, I knew they wouldn't get along. Natsume came alone (since Nobara had her own business to attend to and couldn't make it) and right away I saw some sort of alpha male instinct in Tsubasa. I saw Tsubasa try to glare at Natsume as he was walking to our table, but I wouldn't have it. I frowned and elbowed Tsubasa, but he didn't budge. It continued that way throughout the whole dinner, too, which caused me to distress a bit.

I mean, shouldn't guys get along when you throw free alcohol and food at them? I _was_ paying for the meal, after all.

When neither of them was going to give up their not so covert battle, I sighed and stood from my seat and declared that I needed to go to the restroom. Tsubasa smiled while Natsume huffed and crossed his arms.

"Are you really going to leave me here with _him_?" he complained, lowering his tone but at the same time making sure that it was audible enough for Tsubasa to hear.

"Behave, both of you," I hissed back and found a way to step on his toes with my heel. He let out a small yelp and I walked away. The two just couldn't get along and they were acting more immature than I was when I was ten. Ten! I was overly talkative and I kept hugging everyone I saw back then, and now… Well, it doesn't matter. Those two jerks are acting like complete imbeciles and I will not admit to being in a relationship with any of them if they suddenly get into some trouble.

I looked back into the mirror after washing my hands. In all honesty, I looked tired, like I was purposely trying to display how much stress and workload I've been handling. Those two men whom I considered important in my life were probably taking up a big part of that. I huffed and convinced myself that I was pretty enough tonight and that I would try my best to be calm as Natsume and Tsubasa settled their differences over beer or something.

Yeah, that would totally work.

I walked slowly to the door, hoping that when I see the booth we were seated at, they would be completely civil and laughing, even. But no, I heard _screams_. Not the dramatic-girl-who's-about-to-be-killed-in-some-horror-movie scream, no. They were the screams of two _men_ arguing (but really, it sounded like they were having a lovers' spat) in a restaurant while everyone else is shushed and looks at them like they've both removed their pants or something.

I sighed for the nth time that night. I _really_ wanted to try their honey lemon chicken, too.

* * *

"I asked you to play nice," I huffed under my breath, looking out at the blurring lights that passed from my comfortable position on the passenger seat. "I've reminded you for several days now, Tsubasa. And yet you go ahead and—"

"He asked for it," he replied, cutting me off.

"Really now? Did he go on his knees and beg for you to punch him so bloody hard that he bruised? Oh, oh, or did he stand on his chair and announced to the whole restaurant that you and he would have some kind of match because you couldn't bloody tone your ego down one bit and decided to act totally pretentious? Tell me, did he?"

"No—" he started, his voice was louder and I'm sure he was trying his best to restrain himself from throwing bad words all over the place, all over me.

"Then don't start anything!" I screamed at him as he stopped the car in front of my house. "I am tired, okay? I am seriously just tired of the drama that comes with this. How am I supposed to live knowing that the two men who matter the most to me right now aren't even on good terms with each other, huh?"

* * *

_Three years ago_

It didn't occur to me that our fights always started with Natsume. Not during them, at least, until Tsubasa mentions his name and everything I've been working on in our relationship flies out the window. I've worked on this whole honesty thing, but that little lie in college still exists to everyone else, apparently.

"Do you love me?" he asked.

"What?" I asked back, shuffling my feet to meet the floor of the car. "Tsubasa, _seriously_—"

"Don't make me repeat myself." He had turned off the engine of the car at this point and stepped out, leaving me inside to scramble for my things at the back seat and get out as well.

When I did, I smoothed my casual dress and sighed, "I don't think now's the time to be asking such—"

"Just answer my question!"

"I do," I told him, this…worm wiggling in my insides. "I think I do anyway. You're confusing me; I don't see how this should be related-"

"Leave him, then."

"What?" It was a rhetorical question, but that didn't mean I couldn't be incredulous about it. I knew what he had asked from me, and I bloody well knew that I wasn't going to grant him that. "You, you don't understand the gravity of your request. He's my best friend! You can't just ask me to throw him out of my life or something!"

I took a deep breath and started to massage my temples. "You're just being jealous. I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning, have some tea, and this, _all_ of this, didn't happen at all."

"Don't count on it."

* * *

_Last year_

We broke up, and it was funny—for me, at least. My colleagues tried to talk me into believing that he was the one at a loss, but really, seeing him at the third floor flirting with a pink-haired secretary named Misaki wasn't convincing me of anything. It was funny because I managed to even give him some sort of smile as I passed him. It was funny because I wasn't bitter at all—in fact, my mind seemed to be less addled at that time, like some sort of burden was taken off. And I decided to quit my job altogether.

But at the same time, it wasn't funny. That was a good three years wasted on a jerk like him! Imagine how stupid I was for that, even though he didn't seem that bad when we were together. And to think that I was also convinced that I was in love with him, that there was a prospect of us in wedded bliss—you know, with all the young love and all. It's not funny because there comes a dreaded sense of cognitive dissonance. A part of me still wanted to be Tsubasa, just because I was so used to him, you know? But a greater part told me that someone else would be available, someone better.

I rolled over on my bed and looked at the clock. I was going to be late, but I couldn't bring myself to get out—not my bed, my house, or my being single. It just…really _sucked_ because everything was starting to kick in. I couldn't blame him entirely for choosing to break up with me. If anything, I should be grateful that he didn't choose to go with the conventional "It's not you, it's me" shitty dialogue that all the guys seem to be fond of.

I rolled off the bed and landed on the carpeted floor with a rather strong thud. (Should I go to the gym or something?) A silly "oof" rolled off my tongue, then I decided that the warm floor was rather comforting. In fact, I was going to stay there all day, moping over an ex.

My eyes were only half-open and my vision was rather hazy. I saw my comforter sprawled beside me, a few pillows, too, and a pair of navy blue chucks—which I knew were Natsume's because I had once tied his shoelaces together while he was asleep. He didn't take it lightly when he tripped first thing after waking up, but that story doesn't matter.

What matters was that at that moment I had no dignity left, and I didn't give a care at all.

He sat down on the floor beside me, showing off a lopsided grin. "So, _Sakura_, mind telling me why you look hazardous enough to drive a little bird out of its nest?"

"That doesn't even make sense," I half mumbled in my half-sleep. "And don't call me that, Natsume. I like my name."

He ruffled my hair and I slapped his hand away, but he dodged it, so I hit my head instead. I felt the spot throb, so I sat down and tried to glare. I wasn't sure of how I looked exactly, but I had a vague idea that I looked close to a cat in labor.

"Come on," he said, hoisting me up. "You really look horrible. Why don't you clean up and get ready?"

"Are we going somewhere?" He shrugged in response, so I said, "I have some clients to see today. Remember my new business? Yeah, that one. I need to actually start on it because I need money, Natsume."

"Why don't you just marry me and you'll never have to work ever again?" he seemed to joke, laughing and pushing me into the bathroom.

It wasn't funny.

I stopped defiantly in front of the door, putting on a challenging smirk mixed with whatever tired expression I already had on. "Really now, Natsume?"

"I was kidding, _Sakura_. And I saw the contacts on your refrigerator and took the liberty of calling them for you to move the appointment. Now, hurry up. We have a date!"

And we did have our date-ish hanging out with friend thing that morning. We drove for over an hour just to this little inn on a mountain that gave us a wonderful view of the city mixed with the orange hues in the sky. It was perfect in every sense.

Except for, maybe, the part where Natsume asked me about Tsubasa.

"So you finally ended it, huh?" he asked, taking a big bite of his waffle.

"Yeah. You'd think that after the first time I would've gotten used to it. But no, apparently. I'm sick of fighting him—and over such petty things, too." _You, mostly_, I added mentally. "But it's for real this time, and I don't know exactly what to do now."

"I never really liked him anyway." Natsume shrugged. Well, obviously, they were punching the daylights out of each other when they met. "But I'm so glad that you finally came to your senses, Mikan. I was disappointed in you when you announced that you were with him _again_, after the shit he's put you through."

I was so glad that Natsume was there for me. Hotaru, of course, will forever be my best friend, but I only saw her once or twice every two months. She didn't know much about my relationship with Tsubasa since she didn't really care.

"I always knew you deserved better," he said softly, looking up from his plate and offering a smile.

* * *

_Six months ago_

"Are you free tonight?" Natsume asked me.

"Look at my calendar," I redirected him, and put all my things in my room. "You'll see how _busy_ I am, Natsume."

I had a few shoots lined up that week, but Natsume, forever the bother that he is, still inserted a short note under that day. Four weeks later, there were two to three movies or dinners with Natsume in my schedule. I didn't even realize that we were seeing each other regularly until after a month.

It was quite weird, actually, how I noticed how he suddenly changed; like he had…evolved once more. The Natsume I met almost a decade ago wasn't the same Natsume. The smugness was forever there, but his outfits that usually compromised of loose shirts, ripped jeans, and rubber shoes suddenly disappeared. His hair was slicked back, too.

Something was off.

"What's up with you?" I asked bluntly.

My tone was off, so he replied with a frown and a "What do you mean?"

"Nothing, Natsume. It's just that you and I have been meeting too regularly. All of a sudden, too," I explained. "I don't know, it's not what you would usually do if you're okay, right? So what's wrong?"

"So does this mean I can't see Mikan, my good _ex_, Mikan, if I wanted to?"

"Nothing is wrong with me, Mikan. Trust me."

He was denying something. This was part of my ability to read people, I guess, and Natsume was obviously in denial. About what, I didn't know. I was on to something, definitely, but I wasn't completely sure if I wanted to find it out about him.

"Is Tsubasa still calling you?"

Now this was more proof to the situation. Whenever Natsume had his own problems, he made it a point to emphasize or be more sensitive of my own.

"No."

"Well, so, have you started seeing someone else, then?"

I frowned. "You know very well that I've no time in between shoots and going out on dinners with you."

His arrogance was showing yet again when he said, "You should be thankful, really, of the free meals and movies and whatnot! I am, in fact, your savior."

And to summarize the rest of the night, we argued about which movie we were going to watch, Natsume got tipsy (and admitted to so many things), and I drove him home.

* * *

The next morning, I drove Natsume's car back to his place. The maids once again lead me to his room, where he leaned on the wall; trying to be alert. It was obvious he was still very tired as he was wearing the same clothes from last night.

"I'm so sorry, Mikan," Natsume half-mumbled, half-groaned. He was suffering from a hangover. "You shouldn't have gone here. I was going to go to your place later to get my car—ugh, you stole my car, Mikan."

I laughed halfheartedly. "It's not stealing. You were drunk, and I wasn't going to let you kill us both."

"You didn't need to this, Mikan. I would've just gone over to your place," he said in an apologizing tone, his speech still slightly impaired.

"It's alright, Natsume. Really, it is."

"Do you want me to make it up to you?"

"Oh, no. Free meals are quite enough. Maybe you should just give me the chance to pick the movie next time?"

"Will do," he laughed, out loud, still leaning on the wall. "Well, see you, then." Then he stepped forward, and kissed me on the lips. I immediately jumped back before it got too…un-platonic.

Walking down the street, I put a hand over my lips. That was, regardless of what other people thought, was my first kiss with Natsume.

* * *

I lied to Natsume that morning. I was going to the mall, yes, but not for myself. Hotaru invited me there to meet up for lunch, and I was so anxious to see her after a while. We ate at some nondescript café, where Hotaru was a patron, apparently. We got to catch up and everything, and it was nice to hang around girl company after being around Natsume almost all the time.

"So are you going directly tonight or are you passing by your house first?" she asked.

"What?"

"Ruka's birthday party? Mikan, you dolt, you were always so forgetful!"

And it's true. I also forgot at that time that Hotaru and Ruka were dating. I smiled uncomfortably, hoping she would silently forgive me for not remembering, but no—she threw her water bottle at me.

Some things, perhaps, never change.

"I'll buy you a dress—come on."

* * *

I walked into the party with Hotaru and quickly spotted Natsume. He was there, looking all formal and stuff, talking with other people, probably from the same program he's in. Ruka was part of that group, too. There was a girl beside Natsume, though, wearing a tight cocktail dress, one that you would wear if you were in high school and going to prom. They were holding hands, and the length of her body pressed comfortably against him.

It made me want to gag.

She seemed to be familiar with the people Natsume were talking to. She wasn't just politely listening, but joining in the discussion itself. She was nothing like Sumire or Nobara. This girl, whoever she was, was fabulous.

_Where was she this whole month?_

"Hotaru, Mikan!" Ruka called from his group, which made Natsume look up at us. Ruka approached and gave Hotaru a quick peck before dragging us to a table. "I'm so glad you two made it."

Natsume followed us, tugging the girl with him. "Hello, Hotaru, Mikan."

"Hi," I said uneasily; Hotaru gave a curt nod. "So…?"

"This is Luna," Natsume said with no emotion at all. "My girlfriend."

"Nice to meet you," I said, holding my hand out to her. She accepted it with her own gloved ones and smiled, showing her brilliant white teeth.

"I've heard so much about you," she gushed. "You're the amazing photographer I keep hearing about, aren't you, Mikan Sakura?"

"Well, yeah, I guess," I replied, laughing awkwardly.

Natsume pulled Luna back to their group after that. He didn't talk to me privately that night nor did he contact me after that.

Two weeks later, though, I got their wedding invitation in my mail.

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Hope you guys enjoyed the rather long chapter! Honestly, if you have any questions so far, just PM me and I'll try to explain it. I'm also confused, haha!

_Standard disclaimer applied._

**Review, please? :)**

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	9. Realizations

**My Imaginary Ex**  
_Here's what happens when you play pretend._

Chapter 9: Realizations

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_Coffee Shop, present day_

"Holy shit!" Sumire cursed out loud, not minding the other customers who were already irritated at the loudness of our conversation.

I didn't know why she was acting so much over it. I simply told them the short version of what happened between Natsume and me: how he started seeing me a lot, how he suddenly got a girlfriend, and how the last time I saw him was at Ruka's party.

I didn't tell them about the kiss, though.

Sumire looked furious; Nobara seemed gave a face of melancholy. She whispered in a testing voice, "So you didn't know that Natsume and I broke up?"

I turned to her apologetically and shook my head. "Nobara, we didn't really talk about other people. Not even you two, sorry."

After a few seconds of silence, Nobara jumped from her seat. She had on an expression of a child finding out that Santa did eat the cookies she prepared the night before. "I get it now! "

Sumire, confused, asked, "Get what, Nobara?"

Nobara sat back down. "Why Luna got Natsume to propose to her! Luna is only motivated when she's threatened. She treated Natsume like crap until she realized that there was something off with their relationship. Which, I'm guessing is Mikan?"

"Nobara, honey," Sumire started, "I think it's more likely that their relationship was already going bad and then Natsume was running to Mikan for help—"

"Sumire, _honey_," I mocked her. "He never said anything about Luna, remember? That's why I was so shocked to find he had a girlfriend."

"What if he hung out with her to make Luna jealous?" Nobara asked Sumire. My cheeks flushed—that was an insult! There goes years of trying to build my character and self-esteem. I mean, I know Natsume well enough to know that he wouldn't do that to me, but…then again, there was Luna…

Maybe I didn't know Natsume as well as I thought I did.

In any case, when both Nobara's and Sumire's eyes were on me, I spat, "They deserve each other, don't you think?"

"Mikan!" both of them groaned, exasperated.

What exactly am I supposed to think here anyway?

"Okay, I have another theory," Sumire declared. "You said Luna gets motivated when she's threatened, didn't you, Nobara?" Nobara nodded carefully to that. "Well, and you said that the only time you saw Luna was at Ruka's party, right, Mikan?" I nodded, too. "Why didn't we see this, guys? It's like simple algebra! Luna, having heard many stories about Mikan from Natsume, was only really threatened when she saw how super hot and beautiful Mikan is!"

"Your reasoning is flawed," I scoffed defensively, crossing my arms across my chest.

Nobara shared a look with Sumire. "Has she always been this clueless?"

Sumire smiled knowingly. "Yeah, and _she's_ supposed to have an eye for beauty, neh? Mikan, trust me, you're beautiful. Maybe not supermodel material like Luna, but that's only because you're not bitchy enough for that. Luna must have heard enough stories about you to know that you're totally compatible with Natsume. Plus, you have all that history."

I opened my mouth to contradict Sumire, but she gave me that look to shut me up.

"She can comfort herself with the thought that just because she's all sexy and all, Natsume won't leave her," Nobara continued for Sumire. "But when she met you, maybe she realized what Sumire and I realized years ago."

"What?" I asked, not sure if I really wanted to know.

"That you're exactly what Natsume wants. Not just wants, but _needs_."

This is when I really wanted to cry. The encouraging looks on both of their faces was just too hard to handle, especially with my conflicting thoughts. I _wished_ that what Nobara said was true. I wished it more than anything at the moment, but…

I opened my mouth to say: "You guys are wrong; you always have been wrong. I was never Natsume's ex, but it was a nice run of being imaginary, don't you think?"

But I didn't have the guts to admit that. If they knew, then they wouldn't have gotten to the same conclusion. Why would Natsume be in love with someone like me, _just a friend_?

I wanted it to be true. So badly that it took me by surprise.

_I'm in love with Natsume._

The realization is terrible, and I do find myself tearing up because of it.

So when Sumire and Nobara go to my side and try to make me feel better, I ask them: "So what do you want me to do?"

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I modified the previous chapter and now it's more than 3000 words long. Wow. This one, however, is less than a thousand words. Sorry. I wish you guys understand what's going on so far! It's kind of rushed and I didn't edit it yet, but hey, here's to updating!

_Standard disclaimer applied._

**Review, please? :)**

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	10. Dinners

**My Imaginary Ex**  
_Here's what happens when you play pretend._

Chapter 10: _Dinners_

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Setting up a simple meeting with the newly engaged Natsume was harder than I imagined it to be. But then again, Natsume did the inviting before, so I wouldn't really know how it feels to be rejected in this way.

He replied to my texts, "Sorry, busy," over and over again. That short phrase would follow with his reason for that afternoon: either work or wedding-related things like fitting for his tux, meeting with the caterers, or something like that. After a while, I got impatient and decided to just call instead of text, but he still wouldn't answer.

I don't know how it feels to be rejected this way.

As the date of his wedding neared, I started to panic. For the week I've been more than ready to leave my work and go meet him for dinner, but no. He's always _busy_. Which, you know, I still take as a blatant _fuck you_ to my face. And to my feelings. (Yeah, mostly to my feelings.)

I just came back home from a photoshoot I managed and still, Natsume wouldn't answer any of my calls or messages. Instead, I tried calling Sumire.

"Mikan, dear! Any luck so far?" she asked me with the same excited tone.

"Nope," I answered dejectedly. "He's busy. Always. I think it's obvious that I'm getting desperate because I sent him like, almost fifty messages and twenty calls? I think he's just really busy, Sumire—"

"—that's just him avoiding you!" Sumire's shrill voice was almost too loud. "Mikan, you can't give up!"

I sighed. "Can you send me Nobara's number?"

Nobara, it turned out, couldn't help me either as she didn't know where Natsume was. She worked on a different floor and didn't see him every day. After thanking her, I felt resignation creep in again. This was a silly thing to do anyway. Honestly, Natsume doesn't need saving. He never said anything about being unhappy anyway.

_Except for those times when I suspected there was something he wasn't telling me._

Urgh. Maybe it's best that this realization never happened. We've been friends for so long—why change now? If we could be friends again after all this; if he even talks to me after all this, then it'd be…

Sad.

Depressing.

I'd be an old cat lady—

My phone rang. I quickly answered and heard Nobara's quiet yet giddy voice on the other line saying, "I just found out where he is! Mikan, he's at um, Sakura building, haha. Be at the lobby in ten minutes! Good luck!"

I got there in seven; it was only a few blocks away. The row of elevators was bringing people down to the lobby in groups, and all of them eager to rush to their next destination.

Natsume came out from an elevator a few minutes later. He looked well. Better than I expected, really. I thought he would be coming from a meeting of some sort, but he was simply wearing a white shirt and jeans. A duffel bag was slung over his shoulders and his dark hair was damp.

_He came from the gym. Since when did he start going to the gym?_

Flashback to Natsume in college, just after a game with his friends. His offer to drive me home would always still stand, and he would always emerge fresh from a shower. Of course Natsume was going to the gym. Why wouldn't he? Maybe that explained why his shirt fitted him better, the muscle in his arms more defined…

"Mikan?" a voice called from the doors of the building. Ruka was carrying a laptop bag and a folder of papers. He probably came from a meeting upstairs. He rushed to me and patted my shoulder. "Hey, how have you been? I haven't heard from you in…months!"

"Well, yeah," I replied, trying to look for Natsume. _Where'd he go? _"I've been kinda busy—"

"Natsume!" Ruka called. I turned around and there he was, looking _at me_ with those cursed crimson eyes of his that could just…make me _feel things_. I didn't think this night would end well. Natsume walked up to the both of us and gave a grin.

"Ruka," he addressed, giving a curt nod to Ruka. "Mikan," he turned to me next, eyeing me weirdly. "What are you guys doing here?"

Taking this opportunity to finally get Natsume to talk to me, I interrupted Ruka before he could come up with an explanation of his own. "Ruka-pyon and I are just about to go to dinner over there! Would you like to join us?"

I looked at Ruka, begging him to go along with it. He gave a smile and shrugged.

I looked at Natsume next. I don't know what kind of desperation my eyes were showing, but a moment later he shrugged, too, and agreed.

* * *

_Okay. So how exactly was I supposed to do this? I couldn't just outright tell him not to marry Luna, could I? Maybe I should ask him about his family. Yeah, I should ask him about Aoi. Or maybe he doesn't want to talk about his side and I could just talk about my job instead. Oh god._

_I just never expected I would make it this far._

"Mikan? Mikan? Can you hear me?" Ruka waved his hands in front of my face and I blink out of my reverie. "I just got a call from Hotaru and she wants me to come with her to her parents'."

My face dropped. "Oh. Well, say hi to them and Subaru for me, will you?"

"Will do," he said, pushing his chair back. He gathered his papers in his hands and stuffed them into his bag. "I'll make it up to you next time, Mikan. See you, Natsume."

Not so suddenly it was just Natsume and me. Which, I guess, was the plan from the beginning. I should remember to thank Ruka next time I see him.

Our dinner came in the next few minutes and we ate in silence, except for the occasional retorts which led to a laugh or two and then back to silence.

_I missed him so much._

Before I knew it, we were almost done with our food, so I blurted out, "How's Luna?"

"She's fine," he grunts-replies.

"Wedding plans all right?"

"I don't know about the others, but everything I'm in charge of is okay."

_Is he holding out on me? Or are Sumire and Nobara just making me paranoid?_

"I never got to thank you for the invitation," I whispered, biting my lower lip.

He shrugged. "You have to be there, don't you? It's a big moment and all."

With a breath, "Are you ready for it?"

"For what?"

"For marriage."

He gave a tight smile. "I asked her to marry me, didn't I?"

"I just…think we're too young. That's all."

"Aoi got married at twenty-one and I didn't see you making a fuss over it—"

"No, but she was with Youichi for five years before they got married!"

The warm atmosphere between us turned tense; cold, and like an avalanche going down a steep hill, there was absolutely no way to stop it.

"What _the fuck_ is that supposed to mean, Sakura?"

I knew I had said the wrong thing. _Shit_. I _knew_ this wasn't going to go well. He pushed his chair back with such force that the people from the table behind him turned around in surprise. He grabbed his duffel bag on the floor and threw money onto the table—money that covered more than the dinner. He started to walk out of the building, and I chased after him, my bag starting to slide off my shoulder.

"Natsume!" I called, pushing against the flow of people on the street. "Natsume, I am talking to you!"

He turned around and I almost bumped into him. His face showed annoyance, as if this wasn't the first time he had _this talk_. "I thought you would at least be _happy_ for me, _Sakura_."

"Well, _Hyuuga_," I hissed, more angry at him than ever. "How can I? I meet this girl for two minutes and then I suddenly find out that you're _marrying_ her? What do you expect me to feel about that?"

"Nothing!" He shouted, maybe just as exasperated as I was. "I expect you to be the same way you have been for the past ten years and just feel nothing!"

_Ouch_. I looked at him with disbelief and he just shook his head, rubbing his temple with his free hand. I choked back a sob and step back away from him. "Natsume, are you even sure about this?"

"This?"

"Your wedding, damn it!"

"This wedding, Sakura, is happening three weeks from now. Of course I'm fucking sure. I haven't heard from you ever since I sent out that invitations and now you talk to me about it _three weeks before I'm getting married_?"

"Are you kidding me? You make it sound like _I'm_ the one avoiding _you_! I went with you every time you asked, and I don't get the courtesy to be personally given an invitation?"

I had never asked Natsume to explain himself to me like this. Not when he made me lie to Sumire back in college, not when they broke up two years after, not when he needed me to be Mikan from our imaginary relationship. I was always on his side, and I never confronted him about anything. Until now.

He turned around in his place and groaned, but still not yielding to me. "Is that it? Are you mad because I didn't give you the invite _in person_? I've always known you to be shallow but—"

"No, _fuck you_," I said icily. _Why is he being so stubborn?_

But before I could continue with what I had to say, he already turned around and started to walk away. "Natsume!" I called again, chasing after him. "Natsume, I am not yet done!" I saw his bag slung over his shoulder and I grabbed part of the strap, pulling him back. "You are not leaving until I have nothing left to say, okay? Okay. Natsume, I…" _love you? Always have?_ No.

"I was told something about Luna that I think you should know."

He looked more annoyed than ever. "What could you possibly know about Luna that I don't?"

I only had one card left and I was going to risk it. Here goes. "She slept with someone at a work conference a few months ago," I said in one breath.

"What?"

"Luna slept with someone! Just a few months ago!"

Natsume clenched his hand into a fist and I flinched, but still held onto the strap of his bag. I thought for a moment that he would punch me away or something just as violent, but he didn't. Instead, he replied in a tired tone, "How can you…why would you tell me that, Mikan?"

"Because it's the truth."

And so was _I love you_, but that didn't seem to be coming out of my mouth.

He shook his head—which wasn't really the reaction I hoped to get from him. "I can't believe I'm hearing this. From _you_, especially. You don't even know Luna, Mikan. I thought you of all people would give her a chance. She's changed."

"So you don't believe that she cheated on you?"

"Whatever problems Luna and I had, we're beyond that. We're getting married and I'm supposed to completely trust her. You, however, I wouldn't trust with understanding."

But he wasn't denying that Luna cheated. He knows all this but he's deciding to stay with her anyway.

Must be some kind of love they have, then.

"You're supposed to trust her, but she cheated on you anyway? With some guy she maybe just met?"

"What exactly do you want me to do, Mikan?" he said, frustration creeping into his voice. And then he laughed cynically. "I'm getting married in three weeks."

"You don't have to go through with it. Natsume, this is the rest of your life. Will this really make you happy?"

"It'll get better."

"And if it doesn't?" I challenged softly, sliding my hand down from his bag to his fist. "You don't get married because you _hope_ it'll get better."

"And what's the alternative? I call it off, throw away all that money, disappoint my family, and break Luna's heart? Is that what you want me to do?"

I felt his fist clench, all that anger building up under his skin, but I held on, hoping that maybe he'd realize why he's so wrong. "I just…I just want you to be happy. I've always wanted you to be happy. You shouldn't care about disappointing anyone."

I watched him let out a breath, and hoped that he was actually considering what I said. I moved my hand away, giving him the space he needed, but instead he interlaced his with mine and pulled me near, closer to him until my face was directly in front of his chest. His free hand was cradling the back of my head, making me locked in this almost hug position with Natsume.

For some reason, no matter how much it hurt, I couldn't help but think that this was what I've always wanted.

"Mikan," he started roughly, his hitched breathing tickling my ears.

"Yes?"

"Who told you to talk to me about this?"

"No one." His grip on my hand was tight, his fingers were cold. The way he held my hand with such intensity scared me more than anything at the moment.

"I don't see you for months and now you tell me about bullshit stories you heard about Luna. Who put you up to this?"

"_I _did. Because _I_ happen to care about you." That, and because I wasn't going to tell on the people who cared about him enough to find me and convince me to do this drastic mission.

"You don't know what my relationship with Luna is like. None of my friends do. If any of them asked you to do this, then you shouldn't have believed what they said," he said, his overall voice struggling to sound controlled.

"It's not just about that, Natsume. I…"

"You...?"

"I think you're just not meant to be with Luna."

He clenched some of my hair in his shaking fist and asked, "Do you really know me, Mikan?"

"Yes," I answered feebly, afraid of what he would do next. "I think so."

"Then you would know that no one knows every single thing about me. If any of my friends asked you to break up my wedding, then they don't know the whole story. I'm not going to leave Luna just because someone started a rumor and asked you to tell me about it—"

"Natsume, it's not like that at all—" I found the strength to lift my other hand and push against his chest. I was now looking at him directly, and he looked so pissed and tired at the same time. "—what if Luna hasn't changed? You know—"

But then he shook his head and let go of my hand. "I think you're forgetting that you were never my girlfriend, Mikan. What gives you the right to meddle in my life?"

Natsume waited for me to answer. I didn't. Couldn't.

He turned around and left.

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I tried to write as quickly as I can, so maybe that's why it became a bit too jarring to read. I'm sorry! I'll try to post the next chapter, too. And, I should also update my La Corda fics, but I'm still editing the chapters, so maybe I'll post them next time, hihi.

_Standard disclaimer applied._

**Review, please? :)**

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